The 5 stages of beard growth

November 5th, 2010  |  Published in general  |  3 Comments

So winter is coming, and you’ve decided to grow a beard. Congratulations! Here’s what you have to look forward to:

1. The new beard itch. Starting a new beard when you’ve been clean-shaven for a while is itchy. A few days you’ll be fine. A week after that and your boss will quit making stupid remarks about you looking like you’ve been on a bender. Never mind, he’s jealous because his wife made him shave his ugly ’stache.

2. The neckbeard. This is the first decision point for your new beard: let it go full native or shave that neck hair. If you aren’t using some flavor of Linux/Unix as your daily computer, you’ll probably be shaving it. If you commit to the neckbeard, know that you’re in for a couple of weeks during which you’ll want to tear out your own throat about 30 times per day. And get questions about sendmail.cf.

3. What shape? Is this going to be a full Grizzly Adams Zach Galifinakis, or the moderniste goatee? Mutton chops? Your hirsutability is the primary factor: if you have a sparse wasteland across each cheek, stick with the Maynard G. Krebs, though really, if you can’t grow a decent mustache just keep shaving and try again later, junior.

4. If you aren’t going all world champion beard on us, you gotta trim that thing at some point. When it’s scraggly-looking? When you get mustache hairs in your mouth? When it gets caught in a zipper? You’ll find your tolerance point. Or it will be defined for you by the person you kiss. Will you be tidy about it, or let it start collecting twigs and bits of soup? Just beware that if you really let it go, you will become a magnet for re-enactment troupes and gifts of mustache wax.

5. Finally, you have to decide when it’s been enough already. You’ll get tired of trimming it, or maybe tired of botching the trimming job because you’re too cheap to buy a proper trimmer, you cheap bastard. Or maybe you’ll hold a baby who is just learning to make a fist and grab things within reach. Or your lover will complain that it’s scratchy, or about seeing bits of soup in there, or you’ll get a bad case of the dreaded beardruff. It’s time to mow that thing down and embrace the cool breeze on your chin once more. This is the also time to really explore the full range of beard styles that you were too chickenshit to try back at step 3.

* Note: “hirsutability” is a Googlewhack. You’re welcome.

shoot this page

September 30th, 2010  |  Published in general  |  1 Comment

There’s a very cool little bookmarklet from Erik Rothoff that turns any web page into an Asteroids game. I’m using it for newspaper comment pages.

  • Steer with the arrow-keys.
  • Shoot with space.
  • To activate click the bookmark once on your webpage of choice.
  • Can’t see your remaining enemies? Then press and hold B

Click here to give it a try.

A beautiful day for a Gentleman’s Ride

September 29th, 2010  |  Published in general

This past Saturday, i joined with three stout compatriots Jim, Josh, and Ken to revisit the course of this spring’s Almanzo 100 race in the Gentleman’s Ride. It’s the same 100-mile gravel course as before, but completely unsupported and more casual. Rather than an individual race format as with the Almanzo, the Gentleman’s Ride is a team event, and though standings are recorded, not necessarily a race. It’s also a chance for organizer extraordinaire Chris Skogen to join in on the fun and ride the course. Our team, named while on an earlier century ride through Wisconsin, was 4-Foot Meat Rope.

We watched the weather carefully in the days leading up to the event. Southern Minnesota had three days of torrential rains causing record flooding in many areas. Fortunately, the host town of Spring Valley was not among the washed out, and fears of slogging through 100 miles of toothpaste-like gravel were unfounded. The blustery winds on Friday did a great job drying out the course, and the roads were in fine shape.

Because he can, Jim decided to ride the 120 miles down to the race on Friday, while the rest of us fools woke up for the early drive down, though catching a fantastic sunrise on the way. We departed from the high school parking lot into a uniformly gray day, never above the mid-50s with sporadic drizzle for the first couple of hours. It was a great day to be on a bike. There are pictures here that i took, but they really don’t do the scenery justice, it’s a beautiful place to ride.

Josh, Jim and Ken

40 miles in we made a lunch stop at the grocery store in Preston, which featured some surprisingly delicious egg rolls. Two other teams were also there, and the townsfolk made only polite conversation with the 12 of us that we were sprawled out on the store sidewalk next to a pile of bikes, eating deli food.

Another 24 miles on brought us to the checkpoint at historic Forestville. Unlike the Almanzo there was no drop bag service this time around, so we were surprised to see not only a table staffed with friendly helpful bike folks, they also had lots of friendly bananas and helpful beer to share. So we spent a few extra minutes finishing a beer lingering before getting back on the road.

coming up on the checkpoint & beer!

There’s one water crossing on the Almanzo route, and with the week of all-time flood-causing rain, we knew it would be a bit wetter than the below-the-knee creek i rode through this spring. Indeed, Chris had told the riders at the pre-ride meeting about an optional detour that would be marked and available for those preferring to stay dry. Our team had no issues with such obstacles, so naturally we assessed the situation and forged ahead.

the water crossing

The water was cold and moving at approximately the speed of sound, and the rocky bottom was covered with piranhas, but we all managed to make it across with at least half of our bodies dry. Once past the water, it was just 20 miles to go – hardly enough time to dry a pair of soaked cotton cargo pants, but just the right amount of time to catch a beautiful sunset just as we arrived back in town.

Jim, Ken, Josh and the long shadows

We weren’t the fastest team on the course, but also not the slowest, and we all finished together. It had been a long day, but we made just one last stop to refuel at the A&W before heading back north and home.

Pulsate

September 14th, 2010  |  Published in general  |  1 Comment

Just when i’m happy to be leaving Flash behind for everything on the internet, i see something very very cool. Goodbye, next 20 minutes of your life.

A unified theory of bicycling

September 7th, 2010  |  Published in general  |  2 Comments

This excellent article covers New York cycling, but the rules and ideas apply pretty much everywhere outside of Amsterdam. I don’t know if i’d say that most cyclists are traffic scofflaws, but perhaps my usual riding companions are unusually polite (and not stupid).

Bikes can and should behave much more like cars than pedestrians. They should ride on the road, not the sidewalk. They should stop at lights, and pedestrians should be able to trust them to do so. They should use lights at night. And — of course, duh — they should ride in the right direction on one-way streets. None of this is a question of being polite; it’s the law. But in stark contrast to motorists, nearly all of whom follow nearly all the rules, most cyclists seem to treat the rules of the road as strictly optional. They’re still in the human-powered mindset of pedestrians, who feel pretty much completely unconstrained by rules.

Pretty much what i’ve been trying to say here: follow the rules of the road, look out for each other, don’t be an ass.

Cycling sensations that are sweeping the nation

August 27th, 2010  |  Published in general  |  2 Comments

Unitebike 2010 is on! It’s a celebration of cycling and this year it’s going global, with photo sites planned around the world. I was happy to have a small part in building the website this time around, and looking forward to October 3rd.

Also, 30 Days of Biking is back for the early fall edition, looking to double numbers from this spring. Sign up at the website and track your days on twitter by using the #30daysofbiking tag.

Here’s the thing about September in Minnesota, people: this is by far the best time of year to ride a bike. Never mind the gritty bragging rights of winter cycling, the enthusiasm of the first rides of spring, the underwear rides of summer; September is where it’s at. The days are cooling off, so you can ride in short sleeves or long sleeves and not leave an unbroken trail of sweat behind. You can watch the leaves changing and the squirrels getting fat, make campfires and ride the quiet, dark streets at night. Trail riding is wonderful because the mud has dried up and the weeds are dying back and the cooler air is telling you to take another lap.

Go ride, get out before we all start complaining about the snow.

Fishin’ with Fiona

July 27th, 2010  |  Published in general

My youngest has really been wanting to go fishing lately, so last night we dusted off the poles (i got myself a license), and after an aborted trip to Como Lake (the weeds, my god man, the weeds!), we had a lovely time of it along the banks of the Mississippi. We didn’t get as much as a nibble, but she’s a natural both with the casting and the fishing trash talk.

“Hey Dad, did you bring a pan?”
“A pan?”
“Yeah, for all the big fish i’m gonna catch!”

The Winona ride went to plan B again

July 27th, 2010  |  Published in general  |  2 Comments

I realized i hadn’t written anything about it, but we made another attempt at the annual bi-modal St. Paul to Winona and back to St. Paul trip this year, about a week ago. The idea of the ride is to take the train from St. Paul to Winona, MN, which has a baggage stop and is a convenient 150 miles from home. After the leisurely morning breakfast and bullshitting on the train, we spend the afternoon, evening and sometimes a good part of the night cycling, and much merriment is to be had.

This year, for the 2nd time in our 4 years, we had to resort to plan B. The last time it was flooded tracks that shut down the whole line for a couple of weeks, and this year we had the bad luck of riding the day after some torrential thunderstorms. It was dry when the 9 of us hearty fools assembled at the train station, but the storms had made the train 3 hours late, which put a wrench in our plans. So we hied ourselves a couple of blocks away to a lovely diner for a proper breakfast and planning session.

The last time we were derailed (ha!), we went to Red Wing and back, which is about the same distance and replicates about half of the route anyway. This time we opted to head east and north, leaving town with only a vague plan in that direction.

We arrived in Hudson and went north, regrouping outside of Stillwater. The vote was to make for Osceola to the north, so we forged on, picking our way on a route completely improvised by a committee sense of direction and the help of 2 iPhones. At one point we hit a dead end and opted to cross a highway and try out an ATV trail, which proved delightful.

We had a lovely repast at a bar in Osceola where we delighted our waitress with both our wit and our capacity to drink water. With only a couple of exceptions (aside from the off-roading) the 2-lane roads were delightful, and one stretch of road after we had crossed back into Minnesota was simply beautiful.

In another break with custom for these rides, we were home at a decent hour, by 10 for me. Although i rather miss the delightful night riding we usually have, i have to admit it was nice to be in bed before 4am. A good time with fine cyclists, and some really nice roads north of the cities that i’d like to explore again soon.

We’re also scheming to plan out a long ride that is exclusively (as much as possible) on ATV trails. Let me know if you’re interested, and especially if you know of a good map resource for ATV and snowmobile trails within 5 miles of the Twin Cities.

Trampoline in a corn crib!

July 14th, 2010  |  Published in general  |  1 Comment

Need i say more? It’s a trampoline in a corn crib!

65cm Rivendell Redwood for sale

July 6th, 2010  |  Published in general  |  4 Comments

Update: The bike is sold, thanks for the interest and well wishes!

I’ve come to the totally unfun decision to sell my Rivendell Redwood. It’s a great bike, the best-riding bike i’ve ever owned, and gorgeous, but well, i need the money from it more. Details and photos follow, write me at bconnell at gmail dot com with interest and questions. Thanks.

For sale: my 65cm Rivendell Redwood. It was Rivendell’s plainer (simpler lugs, one-color), upsized version of their Rambouillet frame, but sold only as a complete bike. The middle-of-the-bell-curve version was the Romulus. The frame was built by Toyo in Japan and features the same geometry as the Rambouillet with a slightly stouter downtube, and it was only available in the 65 or 68cm sizes and only in this lovely, shimmery green.

The bike has about 3,000 miles on it, I bought it new from Rivendell in October 2004. I’ve used it primarily for century and other long road rides, and relatively tame dirt/gravel roads. It’s never been crashed or used for heavy touring, no structural damage of any sort, and it’s never been structurally modified or repainted. It was also never ridden on salty streets during the winter. The small blemishes it has are from everyday wear; chain nicks on the right chainstay, some smudging on the left downtube decal, and a scratch on the stem where i had a bell mounted. There are minor scratches on the cranks, but i’ve mainly ridden it with clipless pedals. I’ve done normal maintenance as needed; it’s had a new chains, cables and a new rear tire, i retentioned and trued the wheels once when the bike was about a year old, and i rebuilt both hubs once. Everything is in great working order and cosmetically very clean.

The parts spec is mainly as original: Sugino triple crank, Shimano 105 group for hubs, bb, headset, brakes and derailers, dura-ace bar-end shifters, Araya RC-540 rims, 12cm Technomic Dlx stem, 46cm Nitto Noodle bars, Nitto 65 (aka Crystal Fellow) seatpost. I added the Ale cages and the SKS fenders. Front tire is a somewhat worn Ruffy Tuffy, the rear is a year-old Pasela, bars have a black & brown cloth tape diamond weave.

I’m most interested in selling the bike complete as-is in the photos, minus the cyclometer, saddle and pedals. I’m starting the listing at $1450 $1300 (new reduced price) plus actual shipping, and i’ll entertain reasonable offers. It would ship (if it must ship) in the original box (with new packing, i can have a shop pack it) and i should have the manual somewhere too. Let me know if you have any questions or want to see pictures of anything specific.

Update: a note on sizing and fit. I’m 6′4″, saddle height 83cm, PBH 93cm, and this bike as-built fits me perfectly with about a fistful of seatpost showing and the bars level with the saddle. This is the style of fit that Rivendell recommends, and you’ll be skeptical if you’ve been riding smaller bikes (in the parlance of our times), but it’s truly a super-comfortable fit that has let me ride multiple centuries (some 150 miles or more) with no bike fit-related issues (tiredness and leg cramps are not the frame’s fault). If you’re between about 6′2″ and 6′8″, measure your PBH and if it’s around 92-95cm, this’ll probably work well for you. Of course, it’s also available for test rides in St. Paul.